thanks for the magic!!!

since my last post, i started doing a little something called the 29 day giving challenge, which is pretty simple: for 29 consecutive days, you give a gift. the rules are whatever you make them: the gifts might be something tangible, something you do for someone, or even something you give to yourself. i decided to do it because i read the book that started the movement, and the whole concept comports with my ideas about abundance. i recently described my philosophy of abundance like this: we are like an hourglass with no bottom and no top. to live fully, we need to let the universe just pour sand into us. the sand sits with us for a while, giving us a chance to enjoy it and and make whatever use of it we need to, before funneling through when we no longer need it. when we hold on to too many things, physical or spiritual, when we don't practice giving, it's as though our hourglass is placed on a surface and though the universe keeps pouring sand into the top, the hourglass fills up and no new sand can come in.

this is a pretty goofy metaphor, but i believe that if we hold on for too long to things, ideas, emotions, etc, rather than letting them be useful in their time, moving our souls along through this adventure that is life, and then letting them go, we get to the point where we can't attract the newness that will help us grow even further. we become full, and stuck, and resistant to change...

last week i got to the point where i felt overwhelmed with goodness and gratitude- the universe was pouring joyful sand into me even faster than usual, and it was to start giving and letting go at in a more conscious and committed way. so i started this 29 day challenge- if you'd like to read about my experiences with it, go here.

well... so far the only perceptible result is that i'm being showered with even more blessings than usual. last thursday, i got home from class and found a package addressed to me on my doorstep. i opened it... and inside was the patchwork purse i'd featured in my last post and mentioned loving. there was no return address other than the manufacturer, and no note saying who it was from.

it was so overwhelming- a little part of me felt undeserving, but a better part just reveled in the magic of receiving this amazing anonymous gift. this purse is so beautiful and fun and every time i look at it and carry it i feel this intense love and affection all over again. the best part is that i don't know who it's from, and so i'm wandering through my life suspecting EVERYONE i know of secretly loving and adoring me and wanting to shower me with gifts. (Rob Bresney has a wonderful book about precisely this feeling: it's called Pronoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.)

so, you angel you, whoever you are, on one hand i so want to know who you are so i can thank you personally and profusely, and on the other hand, i love not knowing. i have a few suspects in mind, people who are just the type to give and not tell, but i keep having "oh! but it could also be so and so" moments, and then i feel a new rush of gratitude and affection for that person...

one other little magical story. a month or so ago, my friend bettina posted some pictures of her beautiful studio (which i featured here). one of the shots included a beautiful mermaid stamp, and i commented on how much i loved it. one of bettina's friends, kathleen, the amazing artist behind localwisdomcards, had the same stamp, saw my comment, and promptly dropped it in the mail to bettina to forward on to me. bettina readdressed it to me, and wrote on the package, "from the creativity fairies..." thank you, fairies, so, so much...

patchwork life...

recently i was telling someone that one of the most apt ways i can think of to describe my life is "joyfully messy." i don't neatly compartmentalize my thoughts & feelings, my relationship is completely irreverent and unusual, i suck at drawing personal boundaries with any consistency, and yet everything is spilling over with love and laughter. you must know by now how much i cherish my home, and how important it is for me to have that personal space, and at the same time i am never happier than when our house is full of friends, which it is on a regular basis. we've had friends who, needing a break from the rest of the world, have found a sanctuary in our home for weeks at a time. we also have two giant fluffy untamed dogs- they are nothing if not a shedding, muddy, messy love fest.

how does this translate into design? i'm not sure it does, with any precision, but i'm slowly realizing how much i love patchwork and collage, both of which are intentionally messy, in a coloring-outside-the-lines sort of way. i'll focus on patchwork for now: to me, the whole concept behind it is that you adore so many fabrics and patterns that you can't choose just one. then the art is in arranging them and connecting them into a whole. when i was in india several years ago, the only thing that kept me from snatching up every patchwork tapestry i saw was the fact that everything i bought i would have to carry in my backpack for months to come. even so i came home with about five of them, and a very strong back.

when i was in college, i took a giant piece of canvas, tacked it up so that it covered most of one wall of my dorm room, and invited all of my friends over to paint a mural on it. we drank wine and painted like mad. the end result (which i still have) has, on the whole, no artistic integrity- there are waves, flowers, a rendering of picasso's don quixote, and some... shall we say, abstract bits... i remember that not everyone who came to the party particularly liked each other- if they had, i imagine there might have been a little more cohesion and working together on a single theme. instead, it's a giant colorful mess and such a happy thing- i treasure it in a way that's hard to describe.

anyway, in this ongoing effort to really listen to my inner voice and figure out what i really like, as opposed to what i think might impress, i'm finding myself so drawn to patchwork pieces. i'm in love with this purse- fossil has a whole jumble of beautiful patchwork pieces right now. i recently bought these pillows; i don't even like pillows (in my opinion they just take up valuable butt space), but i found these so pretty i couldn't resist.

a part of me keeps resisting, saying "don't you want to be streamlined & sexy & elegant? patchwork is so not elegant..." but let's be honest- neither am i. i'm messy & covered with golden retriever hair & oh so happy...