irreverent sanctuary

thanks for the magic!!!

2010-04-12T11:07:00.001-07:00

since my last post, i started doing a little something called the 29 day giving challenge, which is pretty simple: for 29 consecutive days, you give a gift. the rules are whatever you make them: the gifts might be something tangible, something you do for someone, or even something you give to yourself. i decided to do it because i read the book that started the movement, and the whole concept comports with my ideas about abundance. i recently described my philosophy of abundance like this: we are like an hourglass with no bottom and no top. to live fully, we need to let the universe just pour sand into us. the sand sits with us for a while, giving us a chance to enjoy it and and make whatever use of it we need to, before funneling through when we no longer need it. when we hold on to too many things, physical or spiritual, when we don't practice giving, it's as though our hourglass is placed on a surface and though the universe keeps pouring sand into the top, the hourglass fills up and no new sand can come in.

this is a pretty goofy metaphor, but i believe that if we hold on for too long to things, ideas, emotions, etc, rather than letting them be useful in their time, moving our souls along through this adventure that is life, and then letting them go, we get to the point where we can't attract the newness that will help us grow even further. we become full, and stuck, and resistant to change...

last week i got to the point where i felt overwhelmed with goodness and gratitude- the universe was pouring joyful sand into me even faster than usual, and it was to start giving and letting go at in a more conscious and committed way. so i started this 29 day challenge- if you'd like to read about my experiences with it, go here.

well... so far the only perceptible result is that i'm being showered with even more blessings than usual. last thursday, i got home from class and found a package addressed to me on my doorstep. i opened it... and inside was the patchwork purse i'd featured in my last post and mentioned loving. there was no return address other than the manufacturer, and no note saying who it was from.

it was so overwhelming- a little part of me felt undeserving, but a better part just reveled in the magic of receiving this amazing anonymous gift. this purse is so beautiful and fun and every time i look at it and carry it i feel this intense love and affection all over again. the best part is that i don't know who it's from, and so i'm wandering through my life suspecting EVERYONE i know of secretly loving and adoring me and wanting to shower me with gifts. (Rob Bresney has a wonderful book about precisely this feeling: it's called Pronoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.)

so, you angel you, whoever you are, on one hand i so want to know who you are so i can thank you personally and profusely, and on the other hand, i love not knowing. i have a few suspects in mind, people who are just the type to give and not tell, but i keep having "oh! but it could also be so and so" moments, and then i feel a new rush of gratitude and affection for that person...

one other little magical story. a month or so ago, my friend bettina posted some pictures of her beautiful studio (which i featured here). one of the shots included a beautiful mermaid stamp, and i commented on how much i loved it. one of bettina's friends, kathleen, the amazing artist behind localwisdomcards, had the same stamp, saw my comment, and promptly dropped it in the mail to bettina to forward on to me. bettina readdressed it to me, and wrote on the package, "from the creativity fairies..." thank you, fairies, so, so much...

patchwork life...

2010-04-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

recently i was telling someone that one of the most apt ways i can think of to describe my life is "joyfully messy." i don't neatly compartmentalize my thoughts & feelings, my relationship is completely irreverent and unusual, i suck at drawing personal boundaries with any consistency, and yet everything is spilling over with love and laughter. you must know by now how much i cherish my home, and how important it is for me to have that personal space, and at the same time i am never happier than when our house is full of friends, which it is on a regular basis. we've had friends who, needing a break from the rest of the world, have found a sanctuary in our home for weeks at a time. we also have two giant fluffy untamed dogs- they are nothing if not a shedding, muddy, messy love fest.

how does this translate into design? i'm not sure it does, with any precision, but i'm slowly realizing how much i love patchwork and collage, both of which are intentionally messy, in a coloring-outside-the-lines sort of way. i'll focus on patchwork for now: to me, the whole concept behind it is that you adore so many fabrics and patterns that you can't choose just one. then the art is in arranging them and connecting them into a whole. when i was in india several years ago, the only thing that kept me from snatching up every patchwork tapestry i saw was the fact that everything i bought i would have to carry in my backpack for months to come. even so i came home with about five of them, and a very strong back.

when i was in college, i took a giant piece of canvas, tacked it up so that it covered most of one wall of my dorm room, and invited all of my friends over to paint a mural on it. we drank wine and painted like mad. the end result (which i still have) has, on the whole, no artistic integrity- there are waves, flowers, a rendering of picasso's don quixote, and some... shall we say, abstract bits... i remember that not everyone who came to the party particularly liked each other- if they had, i imagine there might have been a little more cohesion and working together on a single theme. instead, it's a giant colorful mess and such a happy thing- i treasure it in a way that's hard to describe.

anyway, in this ongoing effort to really listen to my inner voice and figure out what i really like, as opposed to what i think might impress, i'm finding myself so drawn to patchwork pieces. i'm in love with this purse- fossil has a whole jumble of beautiful patchwork pieces right now. i recently bought these pillows; i don't even like pillows (in my opinion they just take up valuable butt space), but i found these so pretty i couldn't resist.

a part of me keeps resisting, saying "don't you want to be streamlined & sexy & elegant? patchwork is so not elegant..." but let's be honest- neither am i. i'm messy & covered with golden retriever hair & oh so happy...

my own irreverent sanctuary...

2010-03-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

yesterday i finally got around to wandering around my house with a camera and taking some pictures of my own little sanctuary. on one hand i'm proud to show it off because i love it, and on the other hand i'm slightly self conscious because i've been posting pictures of interiors that are so brilliantly and creatively done, and now mine will be juxtaposed with those. oh well. visit the full tour of my home, complete with captions, here.

my house, like my life, is always a little joyfully messy- i know i'm never going to have one of those houses with every surface bare and gleaming. on the other hand, i try not to own too many things that i have to put in storage- either it's beautiful and meaningful and out on display, or i try to let it go.

the first picture is of my desk & workspace, which i adore. i brought the tapestry home from india in 2005, and for several years i kept it carefully in storage, not wanting to use it because it's handmade and delicate. consciously working to get out of that mindset, i brought it out and put a crude frame behind it, and now i use it as a rotating display of favorite cards, pictures and ephemera.

the second two shots are of my living room; each piece of furniture has a story behind it, & as time goes by i'll try to share each of them.

this is the view over the room divider in my bedroom. it's one of those rooms that i don't feel done with, and am not sure that i ever really will. i like the elements- i was going for a light, airy, calm feel, like sleeping in a cloud. unfortunately i think it feels more bare than cloud-like, and i'm not sure yet exactly how to better it. it's also the hardest space to keep reasonably clean. lesson learned from this room: never put the laundry hamper in the furthest corner from the door- put it as close to where clothes are removed as possible, so as to increase the chances of clothes actually ending up inside, instead of on the floor.

i do have some successes, however, and my jewelry tree is one of them. when my jewelry lived in a box, i either didn't wear it or i wore the same earrings or necklace for weeks at a time. now, i actually wear something different every day.

i took this last picture while sitting in the overstuffed chair where i do almost all of my work, study, & online play. if you're wondering, i don't pose hampton- he just sneaks his way into all these shots. *sigh*... i love it here...

behind the scenes...

2010-03-11T19:50:00.000-08:00

last night, i was channel surfing and landed on mtv's real world. i remember finding this show a rather guilty pleasure when i was much younger. today, the show itself seems pretty silly, but whoever decorated the DC house they're living in gets a medal from me. all i request is that you try to ignore the intended subjects of these pictures and focus on the fabulousness that is behind them... my favorite thing in the whole house is this yellow wallpaper above dark lilac wainscoting with white trim. here's a closeup of same.

also love this wall (and here) that's somehow both jammed with frames but restrained at the same time.

since the house is in washington d.c., there are some rooms that are pretty over the top fourth of july themed, but this coin mosaic seems to me patriotic yet tasteful.

this living room & fireplace just made my day. (see it from other perspectives here and here). i am going through an intense lilac/periwinkle/french lavender phase, and this room just seems to exemplify a style i'm trying to learn: elegant yet playful, light and open yet cozy. i read something today about how the modernists' motto was "less is more," and the post modernists' motto was "less is a bore." love it.

in the episode i watched, there was a lot of drama about various people using the phone too much, tying up the line, etc etc. if i had a little phone nook that looked like this, there would be no drama- there would be nothing but peace and harmony and joy, even during conversations with tech support people. (yes, that's scenic wallpaper- see it more clearly here and here)

finally, i'm thinking that this greek alphabet wallpaper would be cheeky and perfect in a nursery...

freecycle party...

2010-03-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

two halloweens ago, we threw what in my humble opinion was the most fabulous party of all time. (i'll let you be the judge of whether i get out much...) in the backyard was a low-key halloween party: we bought loads of pumpkins, borrowed sharp knives from neighbors, and, fueled by a little keg of pumpkin beer, held a very competitive pumpkin carving contest. i don't remember all the entries, but there was a great sarah-palin-o'lantern, an impressive carving of the l.a. dodgers logo, and a hilariously disgusting sick-o'lantern, with x's for eyes and a mouth spewing pumpkin innards.

meanwhile, a secondary party was going on in the garage: a freecycle party! we asked everyone we invited to go through their belongings and box up and bring those items they didn't want, need, or use anymore. for example, in my case, i often have things that i don't use anymore, or that i even actively want to give away, but i'm not yet ready to drop them into that dark anonymous hole that is the thrift store drop off. when i still have a connection to something, or it has some sentimental value, i want to first try to find a home for it with someone i know. perhaps this is a disguised unwillingness to really let go, but i don't really care- if i can ease the process of downsizing for myself, i'll do it.

so, in preparation for the party, we arranged blankets and tapestries on the garage floor, and as people arrived, they unloaded the bags & boxes they'd brought onto the floor. people brought a great array of fun stuff to give away: dishware, pots & pans, frames, games, clothes, a working tv, books, appliances, etc. by the time everyone arrived, the garage looked like a thrift store, and throughout the course of the evening people would go rummage through and take things they wanted- basically it was like shopping for free. i ended up finding a fabulous stovetop cappucino maker that i use to this day, and so many of my things were able to find happy new homes.

after everyone left, there was still a ton of stuff in the garage, so we boxed everything up, put it out on the driveway, and called salvation army the next day to come pick it up. it was every bit the success i'd hoped, and i wanted to share the idea with all of you. it's a fun way to shed stuff before a move or after a big spring cleaning, and i'll take any excuse to throw a party...

dream decor...

2010-03-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

a few years after we graduated from college together, my friend lalena called me out of the blue and said, "emily, i had the coolest dream about you last night. you had a giant closet, the size of a room, and your clothes & shoes & everything were just perfectly organized & beautifully hung around the walls, like a boutique. the best part was that you had a bunch of mannequins placed around the room, and whenever you were in a creative, stylish mood you would assemble amazing outfits on them, & then in the mornings you would have fully fabulous outfits all prepared without having to think about it..."

well, let's just say that her dream became mine; someday i'm determined to have a boudoir just like she described, a room that just reeks with femininity and indulges every vanity i have. i'm thinking pure white flokati all over the floor, and a clawfoot bathtub filled with gorgeous silky pillows next to a silver table stacked with design and fashion magazines. i'm envisioning an entire section of wall dotted with funky knobs and hooks for jewelry, belts, hats, & scarves. oh, and i'd like it to be a round room, at the top of a little turret, with stairs leading up to a private rooftop patio...

a girl can dream, right? another friend of mine ended up buying a secretary desk because she saw it in a dream, fitting perfectly in her kitchen. i'd love to hear more stories about people being similarly inspired or solving design dilemmas through dreams; if you have one, please share!

house crush: anahata katkin, ashland, oregon

2010-03-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

last may i was with my family up in ashland, oregon- we go every year for the oregon shakespeare festival. the town has the most fun and unusual little boutiques you've ever seen, and it was in one of them that i came across my first anahata katkin piece. anahata is the creative force behind the increasingly popular (and deservedly so) company papayaart, which sells cards, magnets, wall hangings, etc...

i bought the piece in the boutique without a moment's hesitation, and ever since have been just in love with the wild exuberance that characterizes her art. in addition to coveting each and every item papayaart sells, i follow anahata's endlessly inspiring blog, and when she posted these pictures of her new home in ashland i fell in love with her creative vision all over again. the question she poses after describing her home resonates with me on such a deep level: "How does your inner perspective and love of Earthly goods translate in your home?" that is eloquently and precisely the question i'm hoping to explore through this blog...

friendship, or best offer...

2010-03-01T15:35:00.001-08:00

i love, love, love craigslist. i love the wild wealth and variety of furniture that’s available, love negotiating over prices, love to be able to change the pieces in my house around without spending much money, love the environmentally friendliness of it, love that it forces you outside your usual circle of people… i love craigslist.

about a year ago, i had just moved into a new house and i was looking for a little dresser for the powder area next to my bathroom. i’d been scouring craigslist for a few weeks, & finally found one that looked about the right size. i emailed the seller, T, & he emailed me back right away, suggesting that i meet his wife J that evening at their house to take a look at it. he was asking $150 or so for the dresser, and i wasn’t sure from the picture whether i loved it or not, so on my way to their house to meet his wife, even though i only had $30 in my wallet, i didn’t stop at the ATM. i wanted to give myself an excuse to leave their house and think about it before buying it- a little pre-purchase, cool-off period.

i arrived at their house (which was only a few miles down the road from mine), and rang the doorbell. J answered the door… and i immediately fell in love with her. i don’t know what it was, but there was something about her that made me start plotting to convince her to be my new best friend. it turned out to be easy- we realized within seconds that we both volunteered for the same dog rescue, and we spent about an hour chatting about our experiences with fostering and people we knew in common.

finally we turned to the business at hand- the dresser. my instincts from the picture were right- i didn’t love it. but i wasn’t about to risk losing my new bff just because i was picky about my furniture! so… i somewhat pathetically told her that i very much wanted to buy it, but i hadn’t brought enough money. we negotiated a little, pretty halfheartedly on both ends, and ended up agreeing that i would give her the $30 in cash that i had, and give her a check for the remainder… when she and her husband came over for dinner the following saturday night.

now, a year later, J & T are two of my favorite people and closest friends- they are the type of people you can’t get enough of. only recently, i confessed to them that i hadn’t really cared for the dresser, & that i was actually pathetic enough to buy it just because i wanted so much to be J’s friend. in hindsight, buying it was totally unnecessary- i’m sure we would have become close anyway. but on the other hand, this otherwise boring little dresser has such wonderfully happy associations that it’s grown on me. it’s perfectly useful, & while it may not be beautiful per se, the friendship that grew out of it certainly is…

santa fe studio...

2010-02-27T19:31:00.000-08:00

if you've ever been tempted to drop everything, run off to the mountains of new mexico, and spend your days painting sunsets so beautiful they hurt, then i suggest you not click here. this is my friend bettina's studio in santa fe, and these photos just make me so happy i wriggle around a little bit. such an abundance of color and potential and joy...

to see another wriggle-inducing treasure-trunk of bettina's work, visit her website here . wandering through her art sometimes makes me feel like i'm scuba diving through an underwater gallery- i don't know if it's the fearlessly saturated colors, the references to bermuda, or what, but i love it...

playing with matches...

2010-02-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

i have candles all over my house, but until recently i've suffered from a serious disorder which i'll refer to as the save-candles-for-company-mindset. fortunately, i'm recovering, and part of the process has been to make a ritual out of lighting them. i've also learned that for some reason i love to use matches instead of lighters- maybe it's the smell, maybe it's the part where i wander around the house from candle to candle trying to keep the match in my hand from going out, i don't know.

anyway, i decided to dress up my matchbox one day and i loved the results so much that i ended up making about a dozen of them as christmas presents. useful? check. adorable? check...

designing your rat park...

2010-02-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

i read this article a million years ago, and the concepts in it inform my design choices as well as many of the other decisions i make on a day to day basis. here's a quick excerpt, but i can't recommend highly enough that you read the whole article (it's written by the brilliantly intuitive martha beck):

"[W]hat is this mythic Rat Park? And how might it relate to you? The term comes from a study conducted in 1981 by psychologist Bruce Alexander and colleagues. He noted that many addiction studies had something in common: The lab rats they used were locked in uncomfortable, isolating cages. Testing a hunch, Alexander gathered two groups of rats. For the first, he built a 200-square-foot rodent paradise called Rat Park. There a colony of white Wister rats found luxurious accommodations for all their favorite pastimes—mingling, mating, raising pups, writing articles for newspaper tabloids. The second group was housed in the traditional cages.

Alexander offered both groups a choice of plain water or sugar water laced with morphine. Like rats in other studies, the traditionally caged animals became instant addicts. However, the residents of Rat Park tended to "just say no," avoiding the drug-treated sugar water. Even rats that were already addicted to morphine tended to lay off the hard stuff when in Rat Park. Put them back in their cages, however, and they'd stay stoned as Deadheads."

soon after i read this article, someone treated me to a massage at a really lovely spa, and i remember wishing i could afford to go hang out there every day; it was such a peaceful, relaxing place. at home, i looked at my tiny studio apartment bathroom and felt totally discouraged... until i remembered this article, and promptly decided to turn my bathroom into as much of a spa it could be. i scoured until it sparkled, ditched old toiletries and any junk i didn't use regularly, and added candles, a new bathmat, & speakers for my ipod. it wasn't the most original idea in the world, but it was such good practice for me in the rat park creation process: how can i create a home that makes me sigh with joy when i walk through the door?

pay attention to how you feel when you walk into your home, or into various rooms in your house. do you feel warmer or colder? how do you feel when you walk into friends' homes? into work? into your favorite coffee shop or store? when you enhance your awareness of your surroundings like this, you can start to make those small, trim tab changes that make all the difference.

when it's ok to be a doormat...

2010-02-27T11:47:00.000-08:00

to me, spring says new doormat. the l.a. rains tend to destroy coir mats pretty quickly, and i keep thinking i should get a chilewich mat or something a little more durable, but i never do- i like the fact that coir is a natural material that literally grows on trees (it's the rough fiber on the outside of coconuts), i like the way it feels on my feet, & i even like the disintegration aspect- it means i get to pick out a new one every year. this butterfly mat is new at pottery barn, and the paisley one is made by tag. for a few more made by tag, see here, here, and here. the doormat i currently have is from cost plus world market, and they have a new, colorful one that i really love. finally, this is outside the coir category, but if you love your iphone and bad puns, this one's for you...

gypsies, the original rv'ers

2010-02-27T11:10:00.000-08:00

completely in love with these images of gypsy wagons. i feel like they follow the useful/beautiful rule but no other rule whatsoever! see interiors and many more here...

welcome...

2010-02-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

welcome to irreverent sanctuary! lately i'm feeling increasingly in touch with my inner designer, and i'm finding so much joy in exploring the way people create their living spaces, their sanctuaries. i'm particularly drawn to what i think of as fearlessly happy spaces, rooms and pieces that i can just tell are truly joyful reflections of their inhabitant's fearless sides. not to minimize it, but it's easy to make a beautiful, comfortable space. the real question is, how do you make it a home? how do you turn a blank space into your sanctuary? william morris’ famous golden rule of design is a start: "have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful-” but it can be hard to tune into your inner aesthete and its needs. both beauty and utility are wildly subjective, and it can be easier to follow the rules, follow the trends, keep your choices tame/classic/minimalist, than to listen to the voice inside that craves polka dotted wallpaper.

for example, in my home, i don't have a dining room table. i had one, and when my boyfriend and i were moving in to our home, we wandered around the kitchen and living area with the table, trying to find a space where it fit. finally he said, “what do we need a dining room table for anyway? we eat breakfast at the bar, and dinner in front of the tv." to me, this was sacrilege- one must have a dining room table! i stammered, "what about when we have people over for dinner?" he responded, "well... what if we just design our house for us, instead of for other people?"

this was wonderfully profound for me. it really changed the way i make design choices- i try to make every choice very personal- what is useful to me, what is beautiful to me? it's difficult- often i find myself looking at something and thinking, "well, what does this say about me?" as soon as that question comes into my head, i try to change perspectives, because as soon as i'm wondering what something "says" about me, then i'm no longer focused on just my own experience & enjoyment of the space or the piece, and i'm worried about what others will think. my design/style goal in life is to be purely self-centered when it comes to making these choices.

i'd like to note that since we ditched our dining room table, we have more dinner parties than ever, with more people, and more fun. to me, a dining room table means pressure- creative, perfectly executed centerpiece, tablecloths, place mats, etc, etc, etc, & that's even before the food. instead we usually just find a place to sit, shoo away the dogs, & enjoy each other, toasting with wildly mismatched stemware.

back to my own selfishness- my primary motivation for starting this blog is that both my budget and square footage are far too limited to amass all the things and spaces that inspire me, that make me gasp, that make me so happy to exist at the same time they do. i'm trying to live the maxim that just because you fall in love with something doesn't mean you have to buy it- this site will help as i can at least share the objects of my affection virtually. thanks for stopping by and i hope you enjoy the blog!